day113 - this could be something
last year when the girl you were into told you about the hacker convention she was at, you decided you'd be attending next year. since then, you got a job in cyber (barely), got over the aforementioned girl, and found a beautiful and indefensibly stupid (that's a good thing) relationship with someone else. a lot had changed in that year.
so you went to the convention and on the first day you fumbled your way through, went to a few talks, asked people's names knowing you were going to forget them within the hour, and pretended to know half of the words people were throwing around.
"I should go to this networking event", you told yourself as you scraped yourself out of bed as if you were gum stuck to the bottom of a desk.
you dress up moderately nice and scan the room for Interesting People. your eyes fix on a small circle of girls, about four of them: all standing there laughing and chatting with glasses of wine or beer in hand. one of them is tall, taller than you— with a grace of movement that you're not sure she should be able to embody.
at dinner you send her a text message, bolder than it had any real right to be. you ask her to come home with you, a kind of spontaneity you've never been able to indulge in for one reason or the other.
she said yes.
two days later, you wish she had accepted your offer for her to stay the night.
you're leaving tomorrow, which means returning to home, comfort, and your puppy, and you couldn't be more excited. but you feel a little sad that you couldn't spend your last day in this city you've never been to before, getting to know her better.
you also feel a bit insane for feeling so intensely about this, a bit like you're dreaming. this city is kind of evil and fucked up. It has the atmosphere of a Minecraft world that somebody used to put a lot of work into— before they suddenly stopped. You think maybe staying at her place would put it in context. it would feel like a place where people live, not just spawn in.
The only time it felt real was when you half-walked, half-skipped home with her.
She made some comment about tagging onto your Melbourne trip in a week's time, and you kinda think she should. It'd be a trial by fire, Christ yeah. But it does make you feel sick to wonder when the next time you'll see her is.