day111 - housebroken
cut the house into a perfect cross section and watch the dolls demonstrate dysfunction par excellence.
x has locked herself in a soundless room, where even she can't speak. she writes letters to her loved ones to reassure them. y is in a perspex cubicle. simultaneously feeling ignored and wanting to be left alone. resenting the conditions that made it feel both. z is doing her best impression of a person with feelings, but the only thing she feels is tired. she has made friends with the mouse that lives in the wall. a lives downstairs, keeping to themselves, writing replies to x or trying to comfort z. they are tired too.
the mouse that lives in the wall is loud and disruptive for something so small. she attracts a lot of attention. she can be brazen and loud and disagreeable.
her tenancy in the house is a matter of dispute. yes, she does sometimes loiter the hallways and the bedrooms. but she can come and go as she pleases, settling back into the fairy floss insulation to escape. but really the mouse inhabits both the body and the skeleton of the house. even tucked away, she feels the rot creep through the wooden frames.
x loves the mouse, but z has been very distant lately, spending most of its time with her. the mouse feels guilty, like she has stolen z from x. worst of all, x could never hate the mouse if she makes z happy. y liked the mouse for a while, but they don't always get along. y misses z. the mouse feels like y resents her most of all. z loves the mouse. the mouse loves z. a was the first to discover the mouse. they have been through a lot in little time. a and the mouse are best friends again.
mouse loves them all, and mouse is sorry.
for a week they were all some type of family. now everyone has gone to their rooms. the weight of unspoken words hangs in the air like carbon monoxide. people told mouse that as long as she only chewed on the wiring a little bit, not too much, everything would be okay. but the power's out. she feels bad. she can't afford to pay the electrician any more than the residents can.
mouse wants to scurry away, but the damage has already been done but she is selfish and doesn't want to lose z but she doesn't have anywhere else to go.
mouse wishes they were all angry at her instead. that way they wouldn't be as upset with each other.
mouse has lived in the walls of many houses. she leaves large repair bills and damaged friendships in her wake. mouse feels that there is no such thing as "the right house", that people at the other houses weren't really ungrateful, or didn't deserve her, as some have told her.
mousey just can't help herself. and she will never stop facing the consequences of that.
mouse is sorry that the consequences equal so much pain for so many people.