day21 - finding my niche: part one
dear luci,
this is part one of a two part series of entries (the next to be completed tomorrow night).
today i tried to map out a series of goals. they were all medium-term things I want to do or learn professionally, creatively, and for fun. as i wrote them down, i realised i found it difficult to actually specify, to break down these nebulous, vague ideas into actionable goals.
for example, there's so much i want to learn and experiment with in the tech space— partially because it looks like I'll be finding full-time employment in that sector soon, but mostly for my own curiosity and sense of enjoyment. and since it's such a diverse and expansive field, you kind of have to have a vague idea of which paths you want to start heading down, and all of those paths in turn fork (haha) into a million different directions.
it's not that I feel a need to choose where I want to go right away. I just want to figure out Why I enjoy the things I do. Then I can finally branch out and I won't have to wonder where to start anymore.
Dev? Networking? Security? I have found homelabbing so profoundly frustrating satisfying in its endless series of problems to solve and processes to optimise. I feel like I'm trying to build a car from scratch, I have all the tools and parts laid out in front of me, and the only thing I can use to guide my process is a jpeg of the final product. Now, I know how a car should look. I know it has wheels. And doors. And an engine. But I think we can agree that I'm missing some key mechanical knowledge. Perhaps I can get by and build something, a Flinstones-esque vehicle powered by its passengers' feet, but that's not really what I'm trying to do.
I find all the possibilities and different things I could learn so exciting, so enlivening. But also so daunting. I've got plenty of time, I know this. but right now, I just want some direction, and I want to find it within myself— to develop that curiosity paired with the knowledge to just think up different projects and exercises.
it's so exciting to finally be in a place where I have the time and ability to learn what I want, but it's so frustrating to be paralysed with uncertainty about where to begin.
I have resolved that I just need to read, watch, listen, meet, talk, and seek with a fervour that matches my desire to learn and do, and perhaps then the brambles will recede and the paths ahead will seem so much clearer.
Sweet dreams, Luci. <3
by the way, if you're reading this and you're NOT luci (who does not have internet access— let alone the fingers to use a keyboard), you should check out the blogs of two incredible people I know: