day43 - it takes a village part 2
dear luci,
this morning, I found coop on the bottom of his cage. he had passed away during the night. i cried, i held his tiny, delicate body to my chest. i found a shoebox, much too big, and laid his body in the towel we used the day before to cover his cage when getting him from the vet. my legs felt weak. i showered, and cried some more. the first thing I did was tell the people in my life who mean the most to me. they responded with the same kindness they offered the day prior.
tonight I dug a hole and buried him. he was in a wooden box, swaddled in something will crocheted for him. I opened the box to see him one last time before I laid him to rest. I couldn't stop crying. he was so small. I remembered him as a sweet, energetic little thing with an endless appetite, and it broke me to see him so still.
between these two bookends, i went into the office. i saw all four of the aforementioned people. they hugged me and tried to cheer me up. and it worked. I'm glad I left the house today, even though I felt like I maybe shouldn't. sometimes it takes your lowest moments to remind you how much people care. these people never underestimated how much I cared for Coop, in fact, they all understood how devastated I was without me needing to tell them. at the end of the day it reminds me why community is so vital. it's very easy to buy into the stoicism we're sold, to say thank you when offered support without the intention of accepting it. your life can so much brighter when you realise you never have to suffer alone.
so this entry is dedicated to those four. it's dedicated to will. and it's dedicated to coop.
sweet dreams luci <3