day55 - the band 'creed' and the therapeutic power of funny videos
dear luci,
right now I have "one last breath" by creed stuck in my head for no real reason at all. Creed is a band I don't know well at all, and I only know two of their songs for being heavily memed. in any case, catchy chorus, huh?
tonight I have decided to release myself from the obligation self-imposed criteria of trying to keep every entry "meaningful" and decently long. I feel like I've phoned it in otherwise: like I've wasted an opportunity to say something important, but also taken the time of my readers for granted. I've been doing this for long enough that I should know this isn't just a race to reveal as much about myself as I possibly can before people lose interest. that's not why I got into this, it's just an unintended but welcome consequence. but tonight I'm releasing myself because I'm tired. I've done a lot of talking today. I wouldn't take any of it back, every word needed to be said.
today I faced a lot of questions I didn't really know how to answer. I puzzled and I thought and I watched my cursor blink on an empty line to no avail. I tried to answer the ones that needed answering.
Sometimes your brain tells you "hey, there's a problem". So you take it for granted and you begin to think about how you might approach said problem. But sometimes a "problem" isn't a problem at all. Sometimes it's just a series of perceptions, events you've ascribed meaning to beyond their pure textual content. Sometimes you're tired and emotional. it's not shameful or bad to just say "I've thought about it, and I don't think there's anything there. I think I just made something out of nothing". Today I did that. I'm sorry that it happened in the first place, but I'm so relieved ultimately. I'd much rather I make a dumb emotional misinterpretation than jeopardise my closeness with one of my favourite people.
And sometimes, when you feel like you've talked it all through, or when you're lost as to where to go next, it can just help to watch silly videos. to laugh together. share cute things. recapture some much needed comfort and normality. I'd recommend it sometime. sometimes words aren't enough. cute pictures of cats can say just as much.
sweet dreams, luci <3