day71 - markers
dear luci,
taking a deep breath before I write this.
you know when you watch or read or play something and you find the overall story to be lacking, but you really, really enjoy some of the particular beats? you'd feel like you were being dishonest if you said you didn't like it, but to say the opposite would also be too simplistic. that was kind of today for me. the little moments made it for me, but the A-story was frustratingly paced— and despite my qualms I wouldn't change it for the world.
after (metaphorically) wandering around feeling listless and incompetent, I found little points throughout the day to anchor myself as my sense of self began to drift. you might even call them markers.
when you wander around with a video camera, documenting your life, you're bound to stumble across something interesting1eventually. no matter how mundane the images might be, there will be frames or sequences that catch you off-guard. these are the markers. the things you notice that add texture to a world which can feel so flat sometimes.
perhaps you take a nice photo. you laugh with a friend. you hold a loved one, they hold you. a cat meows happily at you. you see a strange new tag graffitied onto a street sign. you feel warm and comfortable in your bed like you never have before.
it's so easy for us to smooth over the world. to brush our hands over this beautifully textured tapestry called life and feel nothing whatsoever. no matter how mind-numbing the routine gets, no matter how easy it is to fall into despair, no matter how lonely you are or how much motivation you have, find a few markers each day. you'll need to be active about it. don't just wait for things to happen to you. you need to open yourself to them.
the a-plot doesn't always need to be advancing. sometimes it's nice to just focus on some more intimate character moments.
so go on, keep yourself warm and safe. find your markers. We believe in you.
Sweet dreams, Luci <3
When I say 'interesting', I don't mean to be reductive. There are so many interesting things happening all around us in daily life. It's just a matter of whether you have the freedom to notice them or not.↩