s02e07 - the scenic route
Tonight, I told you I took the scenic route home from work. Ordinarily, I take the expressway up and down the hill, every morning and evening.
The expressway is very consistent. The only real variation is in the bends of the road, the splitting and merging of lanes, the ~10km increases/decreases in the speed limit. There's a tunnel through an incredibly steep hill that looks so seamless: trees and plant life still grow atop it, even as it slopes down towards the lip that forms the entrance. It feels meticulously designed, carved out with precise machinelike accuracy. Like a demarcation line, the expressway holds back the trees and the terrain and says "You have your space, but this is ours."
But like I said, I took the scenic route. These roads were built on top of the hill. Not into the hill. It snakes and slopes and weaves like a person trying to dance through a packed crowd. Narrow, bumpy, often damaged roads which occasionally force the bidirectional traffic to become one single lane for a moment, as if they just couldn't build more than that. As if the forest said "We're not moving to accommodate you." It feels like a rollercoaster sometimes. It's hard for me to look too intently while I'm focused on the road, but I love looking at the houses nestled on either side of the roads, the smoking chimneys, the 70's facades, the trees shrouding the properties. I imagine living there, or imagine the lives of the people who do, being in such an inconveniently unreachable place, but being so surrounded by beauty. Often you can catch a glimpse over the horizon, and see the further peaks of the hills beyond. Tonight, the city caught my eye. It's easy to feel like the space around you is so suffocating, but all the way in the hills, looking down, it was so vast. The sun had gone down and light was quickly dissipating from the sky— all the lights were on in the city below. It looked… exciting. Like the feeling of seeing the destination city below you toward the end of a long flight. Like watching a thousand tiny LEDs on a circuit board, all arranged in stochastic little patterns.
I felt giddy.
In that moment I felt like I wasn't just in my car looking down. I felt like I was in amongst it. It reminded me of travelling last year. Of the excitement and adventure and possibility that a nighttime adventure could bring. Of wandering the streets, trying food from street vendors, and just laughing and holding hands with people I love.
It briefly shattered that boredom, that apathy that can come from the monotony of a 9-5 schedule. It made me excited to be in amongst the world. To experience everything. To make instant memories, like I did overseas.
I want to travel again, soon. But more than anything, I want to find adventures here with people I love. Some of my fondest memories of the last year have been spontaneous walks through the city, or suburban neighbourhoods late at night. Going on pointless missions with no real goals. Just enjoying the feeling and the company of those around me.
It's so easy for me to be depressed. It's a default state at this point. That's just a medical reality.
But, fuck.
There's so much to love in this world. Wanna search for it with me?